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witneyhouston:

checkmate 

witneyhouston:

checkmate 

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

oh-godno:

ramavatarama:

waywardvagabondslilcousin:

a woman has twins and gives them up for adoption

one of them goes to a family in egypt and is named amal the other goes to a family in spain they name him juan

years later juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of amal

he responds “theyre twins if youve seen juan youve seen amal”

NOOOOOOOO

I DONT GET IT????

dunflower:

Hi friends this is a little reminder to charge your phone, take your meds, drink enough water, get enough sleep, and listen to lots of music!! Your well-being and happiness is of utmost importance and I hope you take time to take care of yourself.

sofapizza:

your sheep looks concerned

sofapizza:

your sheep looks concerned

sexuallyambiguousphan:

The best part is he still hadn’t taken down all the post-its.

nekojulio:

phantomrose96:

kazifer:

Stop saying that “sex is a basic human need”.

"Give it to me straight doc, is he gonna be okay?"

"No ma’am I’m sorry but we were too late…your son just couldn’t get some. There was nothing we could do."

*mother crumbles to the floor, curses the friendzone to the heavens. Doc lowers fedora over corpse’s eyes respectfully*

FEDORA

we-smoke-the-blunts:

donaldbump:

this deserves waay more notes

good god

melthedestroyer:

coffeebuddha:

fujisalci:

i write sins not shopping receipts

Oh,  Well imagine,  As I’m pacing the aisles in a small corner store, And I can’t help but to hear,  No, I can’t help but to hear an exchanging of words: “What a beautiful melon! What a beautiful melon!” says a patron to a stocker. “And yes, but what a shame, what a shame we’re not getting in any more.”

I CHIME WITH HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF
STOCKING THE GODDAMN STORE, NO

melthedestroyer:

coffeebuddha:

fujisalci:

i write sins not shopping receipts

Oh,
Well imagine,
As I’m pacing the aisles in a small corner store,
And I can’t help but to hear,
No, I can’t help but to hear an exchanging of words:
“What a beautiful melon! What a beautiful melon!” says a patron to a stocker.
“And yes, but what a shame, what a shame we’re not getting in any more.”

I CHIME WITH HAVEN’T YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF

STOCKING THE GODDAMN STORE, NO

leviathancreations:

All the boys who the dancefloor didn’t love

And all the girls whose lips couldn’t move fast enough

Sing until your lungs give out

psych2go:

For more posts like these, go visit psych2go
Psych2go features various psychological findings and myths. In the future, psych2go attempts to include sources to posts for the purpose of generating discussions and commentaries. This will give readers a chance to critically examine psychology.
Fact submitted by: merlinanddylanobrien

psych2go:

For more posts like these, go visit psych2go

Psych2go features various psychological findings and myths. In the future, psych2go attempts to include sources to posts for the purpose of generating discussions and commentaries. This will give readers a chance to critically examine psychology.

Fact submitted by: merlinanddylanobrien